Purest Of Pain
by Fuzen Ninja
Summary: KIGO. Sequel to Thinking Of You. This is what Shego feels and does afterwards. OneShot


Disclaimer: I do not own Kim Possible. KP belongs to Disney. The song, "Purest of Pain" is by Son By Four. I don't own that, either. Spare my parents the legal fees.

In case anyone's wondering and skipped the summary, this is the sequel to "Thinking Of You". So, read that one first to avoid confusion.

Eh, Shego and Kim might be OOC. Especially Shego.

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Shego sat by the phone; her eyes fixed on the simple object and her mind buzzing with a thousand thoughts and doubts. '_Should I? What if she doesn't pick up? What if it isn't her who answers? What'll I even say if it IS her?_' So many questions, so little time. The brunette uncharacteristically cast a nervous glance at the clock mounted up on the wall. 10.30 pm. Shego bit her lower lip. If she doesn't just dial the fucking number within the next half hour, it's gonna be too late to call. She rocked the chair she was sitting on slightly.

Suddenly, the master thief frowned and, with newfound valor, Shego determinedly picked up the receiver. . . only to slam the device back down a second later.

Shego sighed. She bit harder on her lip, it should be bleeding soon at this rate. "C'mon," she growled. "Pull yourself together, woman! It's just a phone call!!"

Summoning what was left of her self-respect and dignity, the green-eyed villain picked the receiver back up and dialed.

"Hello?" A slightly high-pitched voice answered. It sounded like a teenage girl's but more mature. Shego recognized it immediately. Oh, how she missed that voice. It had haunted her dreams and its owner occupied her thoughts for the past few months.

"Hi." Shego said weakly. She mentally slapped herself. '_Wow, great opening, genius._'

The silence lasted longer than Shego would've liked. She felt anxiety within her. "Shego?"

Shego breathed a silent sigh of relief. Then, so unlike herself, Shego fought back the urge to break into tears. She was so glad that Kim could still remember her voice.

"Yeah. It's me." Was all she could manage.

"Why're you calling me? Didn't I tell you to get lost?" It wasn't a question, but a statement. Cold and harsh. Shego felt that being stabbed repeatedly with a jack knife would be less painful.

_**Sorry, I didn't mean to call you but I couldn't fight it**_

_**I guess I was weak, couldn't even hide it**_

_**And so I surrender just to hear your voice**_

_**(Just to hear your voice)**_

"Look, Prin-"

"_Don't _call me that. You no longer have the right to."

Shego winced. She should've known better than to use a nickname to address her in this situation. "Kim. I'm not looking for a fight."

"Oh, really? You've always found the stupidest reasons to get us to fight." Kim replied icily. The words held two meanings, Shego knew. She mentally kicked herself for all of her past mistakes.

With this single call, all of Shego's past revelations shattered. All of the talks, all of the promises to herself and even all of the therapy undid themselves. Even listening to 'So What' till it was imprinted to her brain dissipated. She needed to tell her now, or this'll just be a wasted chance. Now, it's starting to look like a really bad idea. Still, she has to continue or make herself a bigger fool than she already put herself to be in Kim's eyes.

"I'm not calling just so that I could argue with you, Possible. There's something I need to tell you."

_**Many, many times I've said, "I'm gonna live without you"**_

_**And maybe someone else'll standing there beside you**_

**But there's something, baby, that you need to know**

"Oh? And what's that? You got bored of being alone? Hah! Too damn bad, then!"

Shego balled up her free hand. The redhead was making this much harder than it needed to be.

**Calm down. She's just angry. **

She unclenched her fist. "Kim," Shego took a deep breath. "I miss you."

_**Nothing inside me**_

_**I feel like I'm dying**_

_**I have to see you**_

**It's all that I'm asking**

Another moment of silence on the other end. It was awkward this time. "You do?"

"Yeah, I do."

"So what do I care? Is that all?"

The super-powered villain was taken aback by the venom in the heroine's tone. '_This can't be my Kimmie... It can't be!_'

**It is. She's bitter now. Live with it. Just continue; say what you intended to say.**

"Kim, if you just hear me out, I'll never disturb you again. I promise."

"What good is a promise if you don't keep them?" The young adult challenged.

"Kim, please." Shego pleaded. She never begs. Oh, Kim really has a viscously strong grip her.

"Fine, whatever. Just make it quick."

"I love you, Kimberley Ann Possible." Shego declared. "I can't imagine life without you. I... I can't bare to live any much longer being apart from you like this."

_**Give me back my fantasy**_

_**The courage that I need to live**_

_**The air that I breathe**_

_**My world's become so empty**_

_**My days are so cold and lonely**_

_**And each night I taste**_

**The purest of pain**

"Every single day is a struggle. You have no idea how hard it is to face the morning knowing I won't be seeing your face or hear you voice." She poured out. "I know I should've acted back then, but I was in too much shock and too damn proud to move. Can you believe this? My fucking _pride_ got in the way between me and stopping the best thing that's ever happened to me in _decades _ walk out my door."

_**I wish I could tell you I'm feeling better everyday**_

_**That it didn't hurt when you walked away**_

_**But to tell you the truth, I can't find my way**_

"I'm a _mess _without you, Pumpkin. You're all I ever think about. You're all I ever _dream_ about. You've been haunting me, Kim. I can't turn a single corner without it reminding me of you in some way." She was rambling now but she didn't care. She had to get this off her chest or it'll devour her from the inside. "I love you. So, so, _so _much..."

"Are you done?"

Shego wasn't surprised at the inconsiderate reply. She had expected that, actually. "Yea, I'm done." She said. Despite the coolness of Kim's voice, she managed to keep her voice stable.

_**Nothing inside me**_

_**I feel like I'm dying **_

_**I have to see you**_

**It's all that I'm asking**

"Good." Kim said just before she hung up. Shego sat still in mute shock for a few seconds. Kim just hung up on her? Didn't what she just said affect her _at all_?

[Shego's POV]

I was taken aback; to say the least. I can feel my cheeks getting wet. "Tears...?" I say dumbly as I catch a few and brought them in front of me to see if they were real. My fingers were dampened by the salty drops that were indeed tears. At that moment, I release all of them along with my regrets and also my sorrows. With every tear, a missed chance to tell Kim how much she meant to me before the breakup. With each wail, a moment to apologize and make up for my mistakes long gone all those months ago.

'_Was I really that terrible to her...?_' I think as the sobs continue. '_I must've been. She looked like she hated me when she left. She sounded like she still does; judging by how she acted on the phone._'

**You're pathetic, you know that?**

'_So what else is new?_'I think to myself. If it were voiced, it'd be a low mumble. I guess it makes sense that I'm having a heart-to-heart with myself. This' just like one of those scenes you read about in novels.

**My, GOD! Listen to yourself, would you? You need to put yourself together! Like, mega-doy! You're a wreck!**

I roll my emerald-colored eyes. '_Thank you, Captain Obvious. So when are you gonna stop dissing me and start helping me?_'

**You want help? I'll give you **_**help**_**. GET OUT OF THAT FUCKING CHAIR!!**

I cringe at the forcefulness of the voice. To escape a migraine, I obediently stand up.

**Good girl.**

_**Give me back my fantasy**_

_**The courage that I need to live**_

_**The air that I breathe**_

_**My world's become so empty**_

_**My days are so cold and lonely**_

_**And each night I taste**_

_**The purest of pain**_

_So, now what?_

**Now, you put on some decent clothes.**

I do as the strange omniscience told me and grab a green shirt and black jeans. _Yeah, and?_'

**You've always gotten what you've wanted, right?**

_Doy! What's that got to do with any-... oh._

_**Give me back my fantasy**_

_**The courage that I need to live**_

_**The air that I breathe**_

_**My world's become so empty**_

_**My days are so cold and lonely**_

_**And each night I taste**_

The purest of pain

**Yeah. 'Oh'. Go, already. What're you waiting for?!**

I was about to walk out the door when the phone rang. '_Could it be?_'

**No, of course not. It's too much of a coincidence.**

I bite on her lip for the third time that hour. '_But what if it is?_'

**Then, by all means, go pick it up, doofus.**

_**Give me back my fantasy**_

The courage that I need to live

I waste no time in rushing back to the phone and answering it with a slightly nervous "Hello?"

"Shego?"

My heart skipped a beat. She called back! She called back! I try my best to sound composed. "Yes, Kim?"

A silence follows again. I'm really getting sick of that. I wait a few moments, letting her think her words through. After 5 minutes, though, I get fed up. If she doesn't say something soon, I'll just ha-

"I love you, too." Then, she abruptly hangs up yet again.

_**Sorry, I didn't mean to call you but I couldn't fight it**_

_**I guess I was weak, couldn't even hide it**_

_**And so I surrender just to hear your voice**_

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Er, yeah. Well, I feel a trilogy coming up. Though I'll be happy enough to just leave this as it is. Pray that an idea comes to me and I'm able to write. I'll post it as soon as I can. Suggestions and ideas are welcome.

Yes, yes. That last verse was more for Kim, but it could also be for Shego. Depends on your point of view.


End file.
